Hacking the Mars Rover

by T.Z. Barry

4l4nwins has connected.

haxg0d: yo

4l4nwins: sup bro

haxg0d: http://www.nasa.gov/curiosity/live-video

4l4nwins: ?

haxg0d: click it

4l4nwins: y, is it a viris?

haxg0d: no, just click it

4l4nwins: the mars rover? who gives a shit

haxg0d: just watch the video

4l4nwins: wow… red dirt

haxg0d: it’s a live feed

4l4nwins: still don’t care

haxg0d: left turn… reverse… right turn

4l4nwins: what? u expect me to believe u can predict the future?

haxg0d: zoom in… pan left… zoom out

4l4nwins: im no n00b. u just have a faster connection than me

haxg0d: no. watch this…

4l4nwins: wtf dude? y r u making me watch this stupid rover drive around in circles?

haxg0d: look at the dirt

4l4nwins: ?

haxg0d: the tire tracks…

4l4nwins: holy shit. it says “haxg0d”

haxg0d: takes bow… holds for applause…

4l4nwins: how’d u do that? ur controlling the rover?

haxg0d: 😉

4l4nwins: OMG… u hacked NASA?!?

haxg0d: guilty as charged

4l4nwins: dude… ur gonna get in so much trouble

haxg0d: na, those n00bs can’t trace me

4l4nwins: smh

haxg0d: I AM HAXG0D!!!

4l4nwins: touche, now what r u doing?

haxg0d: wait for it…

4l4nwins: LOLOLOL… ROFL…

haxg0d: 😉

4l4nwins: u drew a dick on mars?! lol, EPIC!

haxg0d: tyty

4l4nwins: now what r u gonna do?

haxg0d: idk… go for a joyride?

4l4nwins: nice

4l4nwins: go faster

haxg0d: i can’t… this POS is slow AF

haxg0d: WTF

4l4nwins: ?

4l4nwins: y’d u stop driving?

haxg0d: wtf, bro! did u see that?

4l4nwins: what?

haxg0d: A PERSON

4l4nwins: stfu

haxg0d: for real dude. i saw someone walking in the distance

4l4nwins: nice try. i know ur jk

haxg0d: i’m serious. wtf was that?

4l4nwins: there are no people on mars, u n00b

haxg0d: i saw him on the rover feed

4l4nwins: oh yea? well ur controlling the camera. so prove it. show me this “person”

haxg0d: i’m trying to…

4l4nwins: WTF!

haxg0d: u saw him too?

4l4nwins: WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

haxg0d: i know, right… wtf????

4l4nwins: i saw his face right before the feed went out

haxg0d: me too

4l4nwins: wtf did u do? y is the feed black now?

haxg0d: i didn’t do anything

haxg0d: whoever we saw on the feed must have turned the camera off

4l4nwins: who the f was that? a martian?

haxg0d: no, u saw his face… he was clearly human

4l4nwins: there are no humans on mars

haxg0d: then how do you explain what we just saw?

4l4nwins: idk… i can’t. wtf is going on?

haxg0d: idk… brb

4l4nwins: wait, y?

haxg0d: my doorbell just rang. i’ll brb

4l4nwins: it’s probably the FBI, lol

haxg0d: yea, lol

4l4nwins: yo, u back yet?

4l4nwins: hax?

4l4nwins: wtf dude, u still there?

4l4nwins: who was at the door?

4l4nwins: f u hax, this isn’t funny

4l4nwins: you still there????????

4l4nwins: answer me!!!

haxg0d has disconnected.

Admin: Take your headphones off.

4l4nwins: wtf

4l4nwins: who is this?

Admin: Take your headphones off.

4l4nwins: hax? r u f’n with me?

Admin: Take your headphones off, Alan.

4l4nwins: WTF

4l4nwins: how do you know my name?

Admin: Take your headphones off, Alan, so you can hear us knocking on your door.

4l4nwins has disconnected.